Walk like a man
by Anahoney
Summary: A Song fic, spanning from When Dean is 3 all the way to the night Sam jumps in the pit. the song is Walk like a man by Tim McGraw


**Listen to Tim McGraw's song walk like a man while reading to make more sense.**

"MARY!" his father's voice rang out followed by the sound of the front door slamming closed. Quickly Dean pulled the blankets up over his head and pressed his hands to his ears, he hated when Mommy and Daddy yelled.

"John, keep your voice down or you'll wake Dean." Mary hissed as she marched into the entry way. Her husband had been out drinking again and she knew what that meant, she just hoped this time she could keep her baby boy from knowing. Behind the couch Dean pulled his knees to his chest pressing his hands to his ears.

"Don't tell me what to do woman." John hissed as his arm snaked out, hand landing against Mary's cheek. Twisting back Mary allowed her fist to connect with her husband's left eye. Dean felt his eye start to fill up and fought to keep the tears from rolling down his cheek. Daddy had always told him big boys don't cry and mommy said he was her big boy.

"Don't you ever hit me." John Mary growled out even as she watched the bruise begin to form on his face.

"I- I'm sorry." He said as he realized what he had done, "I- I don't want to fight."

"It's too late for that; remember you're the one who came home screaming." She responded coldly.

"Why do you always place the blame on me?" again John's voice began to rise.

"Because John, normally the majority of the fault is yours. Now I'm going to bed, you can come or not but I have to get Dean ready for school in the morning." Dean list4ened as his parents climbed the stairs and went past his room, his mom stopping and ducking her head on to check on him, before continuing to her own room.

The next Morning Mary woke to her husband's light snoring in her ear and his arms pulling her back tightly to his chest. She hated when they fought the way they had the night before, but she always reminded herself the next morning that it never happened often and that even when it did he still loved her and their son.

"John, baby." She whispered rolling over to face him, grimacing at the darkened skin of his cheek where she had hit him the night before. "John, wake up we have to fix your cheek before Dean gets up." she said pressing her lips to his.

"hmm." He mumbled, his head pounding in retaliation. Slowly he opened his eyes, and immediately wanted to shut them again when he saw the slightly darkened skin of his wife's cheek. "Oh baby, I'm sorry her whispered, pulling her in and ghosting over her cheek.

"It's fine, let's go get ourselves presentable before Dean wakes up." she said pulling him out of bed and into the bathroom, where she quickly covered both of their bruises from the night before. After she finished, John went down stairs to start making breakfast while Mary went to wake up her son, both pretending there was no trace from the previous night.

10 years later

Dean's eyes shot open as he heard his phone ring and quickly answered it. The only people who had the number were his father, Pastor Jim, his Uncle Bobby, Caleb and Sammy. And no matter who was calling it he knew that it was an emergency. "Hello?" she said looking over to check that his brother was still asleep.

"Dean?" his father's gruff voice slurred over the phone.

"Dad what wrong?" he asked sliding out of bed and already pulling on his shoes.

"Dean I need you to come done to the small bar we passed on the way to the hotel, I think someone stole the car son." John ordered.

Dean sighed, it was the beginning of November and this wasn't the first time his father was so drunk he had to call his oldest to help him find his way home. "Alright dad I'm on my way."

"Make sure your brother is safe before you leave." The drunk ordered.

"Yes sir." Dean pulled the 45mm from under his pillow and slid it into the back of his jeans before pulling on his jacket. Quickly he checked all the salt lines before carefully stepping over the ark around the door. He looked back over his brothers sleeping form one last time before going to find his father.

It took them another hour to locate the Impala that had been parked two blocks from the bar. After watching his father fumble with the keys for a few minutes Dean gently took the keys from his father and unlocked the car. Dean watched in confusion as his dad walked away from the door.

"Dad… where are you going?" Dean asked, both worried about his father and yet anxious to get back to his brother.

"You drive son, I … I don't think I can and I won't hurt you because of my stupidity." John said as he collapsed into the passenger seat, tears sliding don't his face.

"Dad are you ok?"

"Of course Dean and I promise this is the last time this will happen." John said, his eyes begging Dean to believe him. Dean felt hop well in his chest that his father would keep his promise this time even though deep down he knew it was just a lie.

Three years later

"Hey Dean, why don't I come to your place to start on that project for Chem." Tony said running up Dean as he unlocked the Impala.

"Hey man, I'd love to but uh… my dad was kinda green this morning when I left, how bout I meet you at your place?" Dean asked. He wasn't sure why he was even trying, with both the people or the school work. They had only been in town for a week and he would be surprised if they were their much longer than the rest of the month.

"Oh yeah sure man, no problem." Dean grinned at the other teenager before sliding into the car and driving off to go pick Sammy up.

"Hey kiddo how was school?" Dean asked as Sam slid into the car.

"Crappy, can we go?"

"Sure, no problem." It was a short drive to the hotel where they were staying and once inside Dean moved over to the small kitchenette, "what you want for dinner?" he asked as he started checking over what they had, making a mental note to stop at the grocery store the next day.

"Anything but burgers." Sammy said from where he had out on one of the beds where he was working on his homework.

"Right pasta it is." Dean muttered as he filled a pan to put on the small burner. He looked over at Sam before slipping outside and pulling out his phone. Quickly he dialed the old familiar number.

"Hello?" a gruff voice answered.

"Hey bobby." Dean said suddenly wondering why he had felt the need to call the man that was like an uncle to him.

"Dean, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," Dean answered quickly, "just I … I haven't heard from Dad since he dropped us off here, and I was wondering if you had." Dean said.

"Nothing yet, I'm sure he's fine. How are you and Sam doing? Do you guys need anything?"

"No, we should be good for a month or so… "Dean hesitated. He felt like he was drowning and he wanted to ask bobby for help in the form of advice, but knew that he couldn't, his father would never approve."

"Dean what's wrong son?"

"I'm scared I'm fucking up Bobby, what if I'm fucking Sam over just as bad as dad is?" he couldn't stop the words before they tumbled out of his mouth.

"You're not your father boy, and that kid looks up to you. Remember you have to crawl before you walk and walk before you run." The old redneck answered, "just keep going like you are, you've done a good job of raising that boy already, I'm proud of ya."

"Thanks Bobby, I gotta go, just let me know if you hear anything from dad."

"Alright kid, I'll keep an ear out."

12 years later

"So Dean, I got to thank you." The demon said crouching down in front of him. "See, a demon can't resurrect people unless a deal is made. I know red tape, it'll make you go nuts…but thanks to you Sammy is back in rotation. Now I wasn't counting on that but I'm glad. I liked him better than Jake anyhow. Tell me... have you heard the expression 'if a deal sounds to good to be true, it probably is.'?"

"You call that deal good?" Dean replied cockily.

"It's a better shake than your dad ever got. And you never wondered why. I'm surprised at you. I mean… you saw what your brother just did to Jake right? That was pretty cold wasn't it? How certain are you that what you brought back is 100% pure Sam? You of all people should know that what's dead should stay dead. Any way…" the demon said standing up, "thanks a bunch. I knew I kept you alive for some reason, for now anyway. I couldn't have done it without your pathetic, self-loathing, self-destructive desire to sacrifice yourself for your family." Dean watched as the demon raised the gun seconds before his father materialized to wrap his arms around the demon, making him drop the gun in surprise. Quickly Dean grabbed the gun and aimed it at the demon, he waited for their eyes to connect before he pulled the trigger."

The sins of the father are the sins of the son  
you can't undo what has been done  
you'll have to retrace his footsteps  
through the sand

"Did I Die?" Sam asked, "Did you sell your soul for me, like dad did for you?"

"Oh come on, no!" Dean snapped, he didn't need Sammy to know he would just try to change things.

"Tell me the truth. Dean, tell me the truth."

"Sam…" Dean stopped he couldn't finish, didn't know how to explain so his baby brother would understand.

"How long do you get?"

"One year. I get one year."

"You shouldn't have done that." Sam chastised. "How could you do that?"

"Don't get mad at me. Don't you do that. I had to. I had to look out for you." Dean begged his brother to understand, "that's my job."

"And what do you think my job is?"

"What?" Dean was confused.

"Dean, you saved my life over and over I mean you sacrificed everything for me. Don't you think I would do that same for you? You're my big brother. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you. And I don't care what it takes I'm going to get you out of this. Guess I gotta save your ass for a change."

"Yeah" Dean answered and he couldn't stop his heart from swelling in pride at the type of man his brother had become.

Dean pulled the Impala up outside of the small house that Lisa and Ben lived in and took a deep breath. He had to keep the promise he had made to Sammy he just wasn't sure how he was going to. Slowly he got out and walked to the door and raised his hand ringing the doorbell. After just a few seconds Lisa opened the door. She took a minute to look Dean over before giving him a gentle smile and reaching her hand out for him to take. For a moment he l=just looked at her wondering what he had done to deserve the instant trust and loving care of this girl in front of him, before he reached his hand out to take hers.

**A/N: ok so had this song pop into my head listened to it and suddenly went OMG this is Dean, he felt everything was his fault even when the mistakes weren't his and then he promptly followed John's footsteps and sold his soul to save his son…. Ok ok ok I know Sam isn't technically Dean's son but Dean raised him and he treated Dean much the same way that Dean treated John, so in a way he was Dean's son.**


End file.
